This morning at Cocoa Michelle a man told me my smile was so beautiful I made his heart stop.

I'll take that compliment and use it to fuel me for the rest of this day.

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ready for Seattle.

Good NRG

Yes that is me, running around in heels following my boss, burning sage in one hand with the Buddha clasped in the other... ridding the office of negative energy so that the apartments will sell.

Does burning sage fix the economy...?

hummmmm

Well, I'm having a bit of a crisis of identity. My boss here at Highgrove talked to me yesterday about hiring me full time and having me start to sell apartments. Which sounds awesome except for a few things.

First... she told me that I look too young and she doesn't think anyone will take me seriously. Now if you know me at all you know I hate being told I look young, especially because with it comes all other sorts of things. Like not being taken seriously. She told me to wear more makeup and basically get a new wardrobe. Which, this in and of itself was embarrassing. It was like being on "What Not to Wear" but nobody gave me any money.

Secondly... they asked me during my interview if I gossip. It's always been a personal thing of mine to not gossip at work, because it's always disastrous. It finds its way back around and causes completely unnecessary drama. So imagine my surprise when I come to work here and all my boss does is gossip. Sigh.

Finally... I took this job as a very temporary way to make money. I have no intentions of becoming a rich and powerful business person. It's fine for other people but it has never been what I desired for my own life. I want to work in social services. I don't want to work here full-time. But how can I say that given this economy with thousands of people losing their jobs every day? I feel so dumb even saying that I wouldn't take the well-paying sales job because I want to make dirt money helping people, learn to adjust my standards and live simply, and be happy.


But I DO want to make dirt money helping people, learn to adjust my standards and live simply, and be happy.

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to be sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket - it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside of Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.
- CS Lewis, "The Four Loves"

Love Love Love

I love you all!


But especially you!

This is Why I Don't Go to Movies

Tracy and I just went to the movie theater and watched "He's Just Not That Into You." And what was the moral of the story?

No boy in my life has ever been into me.

Hahaaaaa I love the cinema.

Work clothes. Boo.

So Saturday is like my Thursday because I work Wednesday through Sunday at Highgrove. Which makes Saturdays sound much less exciting. Plus my boss leaves nothing for me for the weekends, so I have nothing to do for the day (sounds fun but it's not). And while everyone else is dreading Monday, I can't wait to sleep in and do nothing. Except for this week when I have to find a tailor and get almost all of my pants hemmed because I am a shrimp.

I have been slightly scolded for my work wardrobe. I found this surprising at first because I have always thought I was a very creative dresser. I can't draw or paint, but I can dress. Haha. So anyways... I was told to wear a blazer. But I don't want to. I got a really cute one that isn't very blazer-y at all but my boss loved it. She also loves it when I wear dresses. But sometimes it is very cold and I want to wear pants. I get the feeling she wants me to buy really expensive name brand stuff when my favorite store is New York and Company and their $40 off coupons... and I want to say, please give me a raise if you are going to require me to wear expensive clothes. I have too many other bills right now. My mom keeps telling me it's an "investment." Ugh. What a grown-up comment.

I cannot WAIT to go to Seattle. I'm about to burrrrrrrst.